May 2004

You are probably asking yourself, who is this girl? Why do I want to read this? All I want to say to you, is take some time to read this, maybe my story will change your mind and your view on the young troubles of the fragile and forgotten adolescent. Adolescents need to be heard, please do not shun us out or we will be forgotten. We need love, guidance, support and true understanding. We need a hand to grab on too, to lift us up, like Homebase did for me. Without this foundation, I would never have made it this far, nor would I have wanted to see another tomorrow. I am somebody now and I am proud to be me. For all of it, I am honored. HomeBase was there for me and took me in; they saved my life.

The Early Years
Born into this unknown world, my mother was a drug addict and alcoholic. She was a 34-year-old single mother with no life, no ambitions, and no goals. I had a 12-year-old brother and we lived in a trailer in Prescott AZ. My mother had no direction in life and my dad left when I was born. My dad would come in to town only to use my mother for sex and money. My mother truly thought he loved her and that is why she had me, to keep him around. My brother took care of me when my mother failed to do so. I remember my brother sheltering me with his body, curled up, as he would take the beatings from my dad. My mother would watch it, high on heroin. At four years old, my mother told my brother she could not take it any more. She gave me up when I was four to some foster home while my brother watched and begged her not too.

I was extremely depressed, and all I wanted was my family back, but I did not understand why she gave me away. A couple in Winslow adopted me when I was five. That did not last long though, because I was abused by my adopted mother and sexually abused by my adopted sister. They gave me up too. I went to a foster home in Prescott, back to where I came from. I was seven and lived there for a year. A single mother in Phoenix adopted me. I was so sick and tired of going back and forth, back and forth, I felt sick, inside and out. I was mixed up, confused, lonely, homesick and unhappy. All I wanted was to be loved by a family and I wanted to go out and play, but I was shipped off again with a label that said, "Please forward". I never found a family. The single mother I was living with put me in group homes, placements, treatment centers, hospitals, and transitional living centers from the ages of ten to sixteen. At sixteen, I reunited with my brother through some papers I found in my old pictures. I thought I would have a family again.

Nowhere to Turn
I met with my brother and my aunt and uncle. Then, my aunt and uncle died in a car crash. A drunk driver hit them. I lost contact with my brother; he became distant. Not knowing where my feet would take me with my scuffed up sneakers, I found myself living with friends, boyfriends, and in alleys. Living on the streets, I had to move around a lot, so I would not get picked up by cops. I was introduced to the dangers of the world. I was very vulnerable, because I had no one to turn to. I was introduced to drugs. I was introduced to people that owned drug houses and that were armed with guns. Girls would become prostitutes to support their drug habits and live in the drug house. I never knew if I would get out of this hellhole that I was living.

A Brighter Future
Determined to make something of my life, I went to the shelter down on Madison and 16th Street. I was sick of getting sick and living on the filthy, dirty streets. Unbelievably, I was still going to high school. I met with my counselor at school once a week, maybe more, and he thought I needed somewhere stable to live. He found this place called HomeBase Youth Services. He was the best counselor someone like me could ever have. So, I agreed, and my counselor drove me to HomeBase. When I arrived, I talked with the staff at HomeBase and they accepted me, I felt like I should have been at this place all along.

I was baffled; I never knew a place like this existed. I started living life again. I graduated high school when I was nineteen. It took me five years, but I finally got my diploma. This place provided everything a person like me would need. What touched me the most was the wonderful, caring staff. They listened to me, and my mixed emotions about life. When I would cry, they felt my pain, and sometimes I made them cry. They gave me a hug on my worst days and joked around with me on my happiest days. They gave me advice and helped me get my head straight, when I had an attitude. They helped me work on me and my goals. They have these creative writing groups where you can express yourself freely and openly, as long as it did not offend any body. This helped me learn how to write more from my heart. They had this room full of donated clothes. It felt so good to have new clothes and not be worried about people staring at me because I had holey, dirty clothes on. This helped me out with my self-esteem. One time, we went to America West Arena and watched a hockey game. We got to sit in the special suites eating chicken wings, pizza, and feeling like we were important. Activities like this really helped because it made me value myself, and it made all of us feel special. It touched me to know that they did not have to do this. They wanted to do this for us, their clients that lived at HomeBase. I got to feel like a kid again, the kid I never got the chance to be. With out this organization, my life would not mean anything. HomeBase was a tool that helped me step closer to success. I cannot be more grateful for the kind words that they spoke to me, the shoulder they lent me to cry on, the roof over my head instead of a cardboard box, the warm bed that was provided, and the food that fed my empty hollow stomach.

The Present
I am very proud to say I currently live in my own apartment. I have a car and a job as a Payroll Coordinator for a timeshare company. I am in college and getting my A.A.S. Degree in Family Resources and my Adolescent Studies Certificate. I have decided to specialize in helping high-risk adolescents. I plan on continuing my education to get a Bachelor’s degree in Social Work. My career goal is to become a youth counselor working for a place like HomeBase. I have so much opportunity now and I want to be able to help the youth that were like me. I think it is important for the youth that are reading this to know that the first step in changing their life is to ask for help. The staff at HomeBase are here for you, they truly care, reach out to them.