"I want to live."

These are the words spoken by 22-year-old John, homeless since the age of 13 and now awaiting a heart transplant.

It is only natural to wonder what circumstances led this articulate, good looking and talented young man to a life filled with despair while trying to survive on the streets for approximately nine years. I quietly said, "John, what happened? What were the circumstances that led to your living on the streets?"

He sadly responded, "My dad abandoned my mom when she was three months pregnant with me. When I was thirteen, my mom lost our home and she moved into a homeless shelter for women. Since children were not allowed, I had to go to a shelter for kids. I absolutely hated it. I was angry and caused a lot of trouble. One day, I left and walked to the shelter where my mom was staying. She wouldn't see me. She sent word back that she would rather die than see that 'SOB' again. She was talking about me. I returned to the children's home dejected and told them, 'My mom doesn't want me.' I began a process of group homes, foster parents, group homes, foster parents. The homes were strict and I got in trouble all the time. In foster care, I was treated like a three-year old. I do remember one foster home where the foster parents acted like real parents, but I couldn't handle it so I acted out and caused a lot of trouble. I also remember one group home that had a piano. There was a man there who taught me to play. I love playing the piano. He would bring me classical music and tell me that after one or two lessons, I would play it better than he did, and he had been playing it for years.

I ended up falling behind academically. I enrolled in Job Corp but a friend encouraged me to go to California, so I left. Eventually my friend kicked me out. I was very depressed. I returned to Arizona to live with friends, but that didn't last very long. I lived on and off the streets. It was very hard for me to follow rules. The streets were cold and harsh and last October it was very cold and I got very sick. By December I was so sick that I couldn't breath, and I had a cold that just wouldn't go away. I kept going to the emergency rooms and was finally told I have a respiratory virus."

HomeBase Youth Services continues to work with this young man. In order to be eligible for a heart transplant, John is required to lose a lot of weight. He is diligently working on that. Unfortunately, the doctors have told him that because he is homeless, he is not eligible for a new heart. He wouldn't be able to take care of himself.

The cycle of rejection continues.